The Waiting Room
Type: Album
Going through the days living with all sorts of anxiety
Tracks
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1. Stage Fright
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I’m standing in the corner with a glass in my hand I’m a stranger in a land that I didn't really plan Checking every exit and I'm checking the floor I'm a mess but I'm dressed like I'm ready for more I got a heavy chest and a restless mind I’m a clutter in a gutter and I’m falling behind Everybody’s staring and they’re wearing a grin I’m just wondering when the suffocation kicks in And the lights are getting brighter now I’m just looking for a way out I got stage fright in the grocery store I don't wanna be here anymore I’m a cool guy behind a locked door But I’m shaking on the floor Yeah, I’m shaking on the floor Give 'em what they’re looking for I got stage fright, nothing more I’m a mimic and a cynic and a clinical case I got a plastic little smile pasted onto my face I’m a runner not a gunner I’m a bummer for sure I’m a sickness looking strictly for a permanent cure Got a shiver in my liver and a quiver in my soul I’m a fire on a wire getting out of control Put a label on the table tell a fable to the folks I’m just feeling like the center of a thousand bad jokes I got stage fright in the grocery store I don't wanna be here anymore I’m a cool guy behind a locked door But I’m shaking on the floor! Yeah, I’m shaking on the floor Give 'em what they’re looking for I got stage fright, nothing more The waiter said "Enjoy your meal." I said "You too." Now I have to move to a different state Does anyone have a map? Or an exit strategy? I got stage fright in the grocery store I don't wanna be here anymore I’m a cool guy behind a locked door But I’m shaking on the floor Yeah, I’m shaking on the floor Give 'em what they’re looking for I got stage fright, nothing more Stage fright Don't look at me Nothing more (Please don't look at me) Yeah I'm going home
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2. Rewind
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I’m waking up late twisting my fate clearing the plate I got a lot on my mind that I gotta create I’m feeling so low moving too slow nowhere to go Watching the ceiling just putting on a show I’m chilled to the bone sitting alone nobody’s home I built a castle on top of the foam I’m finding the weed planting the seed doing the deed I got everything that I don't really need And I’m waaaaasting time... Trying to find a reaaaaason why... I think I’m stuck in rewind I’m losing my fragile mind I’m leaving it all behind One of a kind Yeah I’m leaving it all behind I’m walking completely blind I think I’m stuck in rewind Na na, na na, na na, na na, Don't forget me Na na, na na, na na, na na, Come and get me Back on the track cutting the slack painting it black I got a knife stuck right in my back I’m taking a trip losing my grip sinking the ship I got a sarcastic look on my lip Don’t tell me to stop making it pop reaching the top I’m gonna run 'til the moment I drop I’m changing the pace winning the race outer space Get that camera out of my face I think I’m stuck in rewind I’m losing my fragile mind I’m leaving it all behind One of a kind Yeah I’m leaving it all behind I’m walking completely blind I think I’m stuck in rewind I’m turning the page acting my age trapped in a cage I’m stepping out onto the center of stage I’m feeling the rage earning the wage burning the sage I’m just a rat in a difficult maze I’m flipping the switch digging the ditch making it rich I got a scratch that I really can’t itch I’m burning the bridge standing on ridge raiding the fridge I’m just a ghost inside of the village Break down Break out Scream and shout Fill me with doubt Break down Break out Scream and shout That's what it's all about I think I’m stuck in rewind I’m losing my fragile mind I’m leaving it all behind One of a kind Yeah I’m leaving it all behind I’m walking completely blind I think I’m stuck in rewind Stuck in rewind Stuck in rewind Come.. Stuck in rewind Come and get me Yeah I'm done
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3. Hand Me Downs
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I’m wearing threads that are dead with a stain on the red I got a lot in my head but I’m staying in bed I’m in a shirt full of dirt and it’s starting to hurt I’m a clown in a town on a high-level alert I got the blues in the shoes that I’m starting to lose I’m at the bottom of the list with the boring-est news I’m feeling used and confused and a little bit bruised I’m a second-hand man who is never amused And I’m walking in a dead man's boots Trying to find my own damn roots Everything I got is a hand-me-down Living in a dusty second-hand town Everything is used, everything is brown Look at the king with the cardboard crown Yeah, I’m wearing someone else’s frown I’m a big deal when there’s no one around Everything I got is a hand-me-down I’m in a car going far but the engine’s a jar I’m a blinking little light but I’m never a star I got a jacket with a packet that is making a racket I’m a rusty little nail and you’re starting to hack it I’m a leak in the creek and I’m looking quite weak I’m a seven-day freak every day of the week I got a thrift-store gift and a mental little shift I’m just drifting on a raft through a permanent rift And I’m walking in a dead man's boots Trying to find my own damn roots Everything I got is a hand-me-down Living in a dusty second-hand town Everything is used, everything is brown Look at the king with the cardboard crown Yeah, I’m wearing someone else’s frown I’m a big deal when there’s no one around Everything I got is a hand-me-down I’m a fox in a box with the broken little locks I’m a shock to the system in my mismatched socks I’m a block on the road while the heavy traffic knocks I’m just sitting on the sidewalk throwing second-hand rocks I’m the tail on the trail and I’m starting to pale I’m a letter that was lost in the bulk of the mail Watching the clocks as the reality shocks I’m just a clever little stray living under the docks This sweater belonged to my cousin It’s itchy And it smells like old pennies But hey at least it was free Everything I got is a hand-me-down Living in a dusty second-hand town Everything is used, everything is brown Look at the king with the cardboard crown Yeah, I’m wearing someone else’s frown I’m a big deal when there’s no one around Everything I got is a hand-me-down Hand-me-down Hand-me-down Yeah I think I’ll just keep it
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4. Loose Change
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I got a pocket full of nothing but some lint and a string I’m the king of the pavement and I’m doing my thing I’m walking tall in the mall but I’m standing so small I got a bill for the thrill and I’m ducking the call I’m checking the couch like a grouch with a slouch and a pouch I’m a clumsy little mess and I’m screaming out ouch I’m a vision of precision with a bad decision I’m just living out a dream with a blurred-out vision I’m counting pennies on the sidewalk I’m doing nothing but the big talk I’m living life on some loose change Everything is looking so strange I’m a big dog on a small range (Wait, scratch that) I’m a smart fox on a small range Yeah, I’m living on some loose change Nothing that I’d ever rearrange I’m living life on some loose change I’m a fox on the prowl with a grin not a scowl I’m a vibe and a tribe and I’m throwing the towel I’m a flash in the pan with a trash-level plan I’m a hustler and a buster and I’m doing what I can I’m silver in the river and I’m starting to shiver I’m a bad little hand that you didn't deliver I’m a stain on the grain and I’m bringing the rain I’m a first-class passenger on a broken-down train I’m living life on some loose change Everything is looking so strange I’m a smart fox on a small range Yeah, I’m living on some loose change Nothing that I’d ever rearrange I’m living life on some loose change I’m a dime in a line and I’m wasting my time I’m a rhymer and a climber but I haven't the prime I’m a debt-heavy pet and I’m starting to sweat I’m a loser and a user and I’m everyone's bet I’m a spark in the dark and I’m leaving a mark I’m a fox in a park but I don't really bark I’m a nickel and a pickle and I’m feeling so fickle I’m just waiting for the water in the well to trickle I tried to buy a coffee today The card was declined So I gave 'em a handful of nickels And a button I found in the parking lot They told me to leave I’m living life on some loose change Everything is looking so strange I’m a smart fox on a small range Yeah, I’m living on some loose change Nothing that I’d ever rearrange I’m living life on some loose change Yeah That’s all I got
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5. Cardboard Box
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I look at the wall and the posters are gone I’ve been awake since the crack of the dawn Bubble wrap popping is hurting my ears I just want to sleep for a couple of years The closet is empty the hallway is bare There is dust in my lungs and it’s coating my hair I ran out of tape so I bought a new roll This process is taking a toll on my soul Living inside of a cardboard box Can't find my keys can't find my socks Everything I own is packed in a square I don't know the answer and I do not care Living inside of a cardboard box Check on the time look at the clocks Tape is stuck to the side of my hand This was not part of the master plan Lift with the legs never lift with the spine Writing the labels I'm walking the line The weight is immense and I’m ready to drop I’m starting to think that it’s never going to stop Kitchen is finished the bedroom is next I’m reading a frantic and panic filled text The truck is arriving at seven AM I’m clearing the roots and I'm cutting the stem Living inside of a cardboard box Can't find my keys can't find my socks Everything I own is packed in a square I don't know the answer and I do not care Living inside of a cardboard box Check on the time look at the clocks Tape is stuck to the side of my hand This was not part of the master plan Where did I put all the chargers and cords Staring at nothing but empty wood boards I packed up the router now the internet’s dead Ideas of disaster are filling my head A mountain of brown that is blocking the door My mattress is currently flat on the floor I’m eating a pizza that’s cold and it’s dry I’m too tired to eat and I’m too tired to cry I wipe down the counters and scrub at the sink I pause for a minute to stop and to think The echo is loud when I speak in the hall I took down the pictures that hung on the wall The landlord is waiting to take back the keys I’m ignoring the dust that is making me sneeze I put it in drive and I step on the gas I’m watching the highway and scenery pass Fragile Handle with care This side up Do not stack Fragile Handle with care My lower back is under attack Living inside of a cardboard box Can't find my keys can't find my socks Everything I own is packed in a square I don't know the answer and I do not care Living inside of a cardboard box Check on the time look at the clocks Tape is stuck to the side of my hand This was not part of the master plan
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6. Wrong Turn
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I pulled out of the lot and took a left instead of a right The digital dashboard screen immediately started to flash a warning light That synthetic robot voice is telling me to make a U-turn soon It honestly feels like I am driving on the dark side of the moon Every intersection looks identical to the one I just passed I am pressing down slightly too hard on the gas Where am I right now This street looks the same Every mailbox is identical I don't recognize the name Spinning in circles Four blocks from my spot Completely disoriented in the very place I bought The afternoon sun is hitting the blacktop in a way that blinds my eyes I have resided in this specific zip code for seven years and that’s no surprise But today the suburban architecture seems to be shifting around I am suddenly a total stranger in my own town just trying to cover ground My heart rate is climbing faster than the speedometer needle This situation is ridiculous and frankly illegal Now the satellite signal has dropped out and the screen has gone totally blank My grip is tight on the steering wheel like I'm driving a military tank I have absolutely no idea which direction is north or where the highway lies Just endless repetitive sprawl underneath these vacant skies Panic is starting to set in behind my ribcage now I need to escape this labyrinth somehow Where am I right now This street looks the same Every mailbox is identical I don't recognize the name Spinning in circles Four blocks from my spot Completely disoriented in the very place I bought I violently swerve into a driveway just to get my bearings straight Wait a minute, that’s my own garbage sittin there right there by the gate My usually sharp sight failed me in this blinding arctic white glare I was panicked in my natural habitat and didn't even care The threat was never real it was just internal friction Lost in the maze of my own mental construction The engine cuts off Silence fills the air I was never actually lost I was always right here The anxiety remains remains Wrong turn Right driveway Still feels incorrect Recalculating
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7. Paper Crown
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I survey the dominion from the corner of the room The dust bunnies gather like a legion of gloom The beige paint is peeling off the north-facing wall I am the master of this quiet, crumbling hall I didn't bother to clean up the mess on the floor I just pushed all the trash right behind the front door My decree is written on a napkin with grease I negotiate terms for a temporary peace Paper crown Cardboard throne Ringleader of the silence Emperor of the unknown Paper crown Cardboard throne Ruling over absolute nothing On my own I hold the black plastic scepter tight in my right hand The television volume obeys my command A stack of empty boxes forms a barricade This is the finest fortress that I have ever made The faucet is dripping with a rhythmic sound The only applause that can be heard all around I accept the tribute of a cold slice of bread While counting the ceiling cracks above my head The refrigerator hums a low, constant drone It is the only anthem that I have ever known The bulb in the hallway flickers and dies A tribute to the boredom in my tired eyes I pace back and forth on the laminate wood Thinking I would leave this place if I could But a king cannot abandon his post or his gate So I sit in the darkness and simply wait I check the mirror to ensure the white fur is pristine My arctic instinct is sharp, focused, and keen A fox in a box, trapped in a heated cage A wild predator disarmed by the modern age I bare my teeth at a shadow in the glass Watching the minutes and the hours pass My hearing is sensitive, I catch every creak But I haven't spoken a word in a week It is distinct It is absurd I am ruling over nothing, haven't you heard? No army to lead No land to divide Just a man with an ego and nowhere to hide Build it up Tear it down Just don't crinkle the paper crown Paper crown Cardboard throne Ringleader of the silence Emperor of the unknown Paper crown Cardboard throne Ruling over absolute nothing On my own Long live the king of the living room Long live the king Of the living room Long live the king of the living room
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8. The Nosebleed Seats
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I took my place upon the very highest row The air is thin and the time moves slow The concrete wall is cold against my spine I watch the stage and I wait for a sign The people look like dots upon the floor I don't want to be down there anymore Distance is a comfort I embrace I prefer the silence of this empty space Way up high in the nosebleed seats Disconnected from the city streets Viewing life through a telescope lens Where the atmosphere fades and the void begins I don't play the game, I just track the score Feet planted firmly on the upper floor The sound is delayed by the time it arrives Watching the footage of other people's lives It feels like a movie behind a pane of glass I stay detached as the seconds come and pass Down in the pit they collide and they crash Spending their energy in a frantic dash Up here the air is sterile and dry Observing the chaos with a neutral eye I could have bought a ticket for the front row zone But I would rather sit up here all alone Pressure of being seen is a price I won't pay There is no role that I promised to portray The view is panoramic but the feeling is remote I read the script that I never plan to quote I am a ghost in the rafters of the hall Just a shadow cast against the back of the wall I calculate the odds from a distant point of view I see the tangled knot that they are trying to undo I move with a silence that the cameras cannot trace Just a clever fox hidden in this public place My instincts are sharp even when I sit still Watching the actors moving in for the kill I prefer the cold air of the upper deck A solitary figure that nobody will check Why would I descend into the friction? I found my comfort in restriction Gravity is just a cult like fiction Observation is my addiction Distance is the only true protection Avoiding the danger of connection Safety found in deep inspection In isolated interception The lights go down The crowd goes home I'm still watching From the top of the dome The nosebleed seats
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9. Exit Sign
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I have been standing next to this bowl of pretzels for forty-five minutes The conversation to my left is about real estate prices in the suburbs I am nodding my head but I am not listening to a single word they say My soda is warm and the carbonation is completely gone I calculate the distance from this corner to the front hallway It is exactly twenty feet of crowded floor space I need the exit sign glowing red in the dark I need the exit sign before this whole mood falls apart No waves No hugs No long goodbyes I am vanishing right before your eyes Someone just walked in that I definitely do not want to talk to They are scanning the room and I am currently in their line of sight I shift my position behind a tall decorative plant This party is too loud and the temperature is rising too fast If I attempt to say goodbye now, I will be trapped in the doorway I cannot risk another ten-minute conversation about the weather The bass is vibrating the floorboards under my shoes It feels like a physical weight pressing against my chest I check the time again and realize only two minutes have passed This is not a sustainable situation for my mental state I map out the trajectory avoiding the host and the kitchen island Precision is required to execute this maneuver without detection I drop my posture and hug the shadows of the wall My movements are sleek and rapid, instinct taking over Padded steps make absolutely zero sound against the hardwood floor I am just a flash of white fur slipping through the crack in the door My hearing is too sensitive for this noise, so I make my escape The cunning arctic ghost is gone without leaving a trace Hand on the knob turn it slow Click Open air Cold wind The Silence Glowing red in the dark Up high Up high Freedom I found the exit sign glowing red in the dark I found the exit sign and now I depart No waves No hugs No long goodbyes I have vanished right before your eyes Up high U-up high Up high Freedom Up high U-up high Up high I will text them tomorrow I will say I had a headache Or maybe I won't say anything at all Drive
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10. Do Not Disturb
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I hit the pavement and the pocket starts buzzing Leaving the venue is a topic I’m not discussing The screen lights up with a frantic demand But the device feels like a brick inside my hand I watch the streetlights passing in a blur I am done with the noise and the social slur The internal battery is drained to the red I’m cutting the cord while the city is dead Swipe down the menu and find the crescent moon If you’re waiting for a reply, don’t expect it soon The notifications pile up inside the stack I see the bubbles pending but I won’t look back There is a specific joy in the transit zone Sitting in silence inside of the drone The outside world is too loud and too bright I am fading out into the grayscale night Do not disturb The switch is flipped The connection is severed The script is skipped Do not disturb I am not home Leave a message at the tone They ask where I went but I give them the ghost I am the one who is isolating the most I watch the call fail and I feel a great relief Silence is the only thing confirming my belief No more buzzing, no more beeps, no more dings I’m severing the puppet from the digital strings The quiet is massive, filling up the space A blank expression stuck upon my face My large ears twitch at the engine hum Waiting for the feeling of peace to come Safe in the motion of the empty street My glasses slide down, the vision gets blurrier The pace of the drive couldn't be any hurry-der I tuck my tail in, closing the gate The rest of the world is just going to wait No signal No service No panic No nervous Just static No signal No service No panic No nervous Just static Do not disturb The switch is flipped The connection is severed The script is skipped Do not disturb I am not home Leave a message at the tone
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11. Final Bow
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The sun dips down below the jagged fence line I turn the brass key inside the deadbolt design The anxiety fades with the click of the lock I stare for a second at the face of the clock I pull the thick curtains so the glass is obscured The illness of worry is suddenly cured The shadows lengthen out across the hardwood floor I am not fighting battles out there anymore I power down the tower and the monitor screen The LED changes from a bright blue to green I hear the soft footsteps of the two that I love A peaceful sensation that fits like a glove I place my phone down on the counter face flat I leave the frustration on the porch where I sat The silence is broken by a welcoming voice Coming home to this warmth is my ultimate choice I kick off the sneakers and I untie the lace I hang up the hoodie in its designated place I loosen the tension held tight in the jaw I'm done with obeying the strict unwritten law The laminate surface is cool on my feet The rhythm of panic has skipped a beat The mask that I wear for the public is gone I was putting a show and a character on Turn it off Shut it down I'm king of the castle with a cardboard crown Close the eyes Clear the head Safe with my loves in the warmth of the bed No applause No crowd Just the quiet relief that is finally allowed I walk to the living room where they reside The only two people I let look inside The scent of the dinner is filling the room Dispelling the rest of the lingering gloom We don't need to speak to explain how it went The energy stores are completely spent But sitting beside them recharges the soul They make me feel grounded and make me feel whole The outside is chaos and full of the noise It plays with my head like a box of broken toys But here in the kitchen, the air is distinct My grounded connection is totally linked I look at my partners and the fear goes away They make it worth living through another dark day The pressure dissolves like a ghost in the wind I'm ready for the evening time to begin The house settles down with a wooden crack I stretch the tension out of my lower back I brush a speck of dust from my coat of white Just a tired arctic fox curling up for the night I'm safe in the den with the pack that I chose The book of the daylight is ready to close It doesn't matter if the world is unkind I have the two best reasons for peace of mind Turn it off Shut it down I'm king of the castle with a cardboard crown Close the eyes Clear the head Safe with my loves in the warmth of the bed No applause No crowd Just the quiet relief that is finally allowed The waiting room is closed The ticket has been punched The script has been read The fear is all dead Goodnight